How Childhood Experiences Shape Self-Esteem (And How to Heal from Them)
Author: Dr. Mary Perleoni, Ph.D., LMHC
Published March 26, 2025
“Do not choose to be defined by what’s happened to you, but decide to define yourself by the decisions you make today” - Dr. Mary Perleoni
If you find yourself questioning your worth, minimizing your opinions, or struggling to feel "good enough”, it’s likely not because of what happened to you today. It’s far more likely that it’s about what happened to you back then. As a Ph.D. and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I’ve seen how childhood experiences shape self-esteem and how childhood trauma therapy in Tampa can help you rewrite that story.
Self-Esteem in Childhood
Your self-esteem is dynamic and often exists on a spectrum. It also didn’t just appear one day. Its foundation was crafted, brick by emotional brick, during your formative years. It included the way your caregivers responded to your needs, how teachers spoke to you, and even how your peers treated you… all of it planted seeds. At our Tampa therapy practice, we often help individuals through childhood trauma therapy and see how it can unlock the roots of self-esteem struggles.
As a child, were you told any of the following?
“You’re too sensitive” or “too wild”
“Why can’t you be more like your sibling?”
“Why do you always act like this”
That’s not just criticism, it’s emotional programming. It has evolved into the lens through which you view yourself as an adult.
Overcoming childhood criticism isn’t just about ignoring the past, it’s about understanding and rewriting its influence.
How Past Experiences Affect Self-Worth
When you internalize negative messages early in life, it can create distortions in your self-image. It may cause you to currently have self views such as:
“I’m not lovable”
“I always mess things up”
“If I fail, I’ll be rejected”
For adults in St. Petersburg & Tampa, these beliefs often show up in therapy as barriers to career success or healthy relationships. They shape:
Your relationships
Your career choices
How you handle failure
What you tolerate in others
That’s why therapy doesn’t just address symptoms, it goes to the source. At It Begins Within, our low self-esteem counseling in Tampa helps you uncover and dismantle these limiting beliefs.
Your Inner Child & Who's Really Running the Show?
You may be an adult now, but inside lives the child who was once scolded, neglected, or invalidated. Healing inner child techniques reconnect you with that part, offering the safety, love, and validation you never received. When you heal that child, your adult self becomes more resilient, grounded, and confident. You stop reacting and start responding.
Root Causes of Low Self-Esteem
From my personal and professional experience, self-esteem isn’t healed by reading affirmations in the mirror (though this can help). You have to go deeper. Emotional neglect, chronic criticism, and unresolved trauma are common triggers. Our trauma-informed therapy in Tampa addresses these deep wounds. Here are the top root causes linked to childhood experiences
Emotional Neglect - Your feelings were ignored or minimized
Chronic Criticism - You were judged more than encouraged
Inconsistent Love - Love felt conditional, based on performance
Shaming - You were made to feel bad about your body, emotions, or mistakes
Unresolved Trauma - Abuse, bullying, or instability that went unprocessed
If this sounds familiar, it’s not a life sentence. It’s simply a sign you’re ready to heal. Research shows childhood emotional neglect impacts 1 in 5 adults, a trend we see in our Tampa and St. Petersburg clients.
A Proven Path to Healing Self-Esteem Wounds
Healing happens when we interrupt the pattern, meet our needs, and create a new emotional home.
Our Tampa therapists use proven methods like CBT and EMDR to help heal.
Here’s how you begin the transformation
Acknowledge the Wound - Stop pretending it didn’t matter. It did. Your pain is valid
Reconnect with the Inner Child - Journaling, visualization, and inner dialogue help reparent the wounded child within
Challenge Limiting Beliefs - You are not lazy. You are not a failure. Those were labels—not truths
Seek Therapeutic Support - Working with a therapist who understands trauma and self-esteem can process deeply held wounds and build new narratives
Create Empowering Habits - Speak to yourself with kindness. Surround yourself with people who reflect your growth. Celebrate small wins
Join a Support Community - Our self-esteem workshops in Tampa offer a space to connect and heal with others.
You Deserve to Feel Whole Again
If you’re reading this in Tampa or St. Petersburg, FL, know this - you are not broken. You’re carrying pain that wasn’t yours to hold and now you’re strong enough to lay it down. At It Begins Within, we specialize in helping high-performing professionals uncover the invisible roots of low self-esteem, heal past trauma, and rewrite their inner dialogue. Through self-worth therapy in Florida, including CBT, inner child healing, and trauma-informed care, we help you reclaim what’s always been yours.
Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?
Located in Tampa & St. Petersburg, we offer both in-person and virtual therapy sessions for adults ready to break free from the past.
Schedule a free consultation or call us at (813)-538-0385
