aPPROACHES
Discernment Counseling for Divorce and Relationship Uncertainty
Are you at a crossroads in your relationship and unsure whether to stay or leave? The weight of uncertainty can feel overwhelming, leaving you drained and disconnected. We understand how challenging this moment and can be, which is why we offer discernment counseling for the Tampa & St. Petersburg area.
What is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment counseling is a short-term process designed to bring clarity to your relationship decision. This isn’t about fixing the relationship overnight, but rather helping couples decide their next steps while balancing emotion with logic.
Unlike traditional couples counseling, discernment counseling helps you determine if and how your marriage or relationship can move forward. Led by our expert therapists, including Dr. Mary Perleoni, LMHC, we provide a safe, non-judgmental space for couples across Tampa and St. Petersburg. If you’re considering separation but hesitant to commit to the decision, we’re here to guide you with compassion and expertise.
Feeling unsure about your marriage? Work with an expert in a safe, structured space.
The Role of Discernment Counseling in Relationship Decisions
The role of discernment counseling is to help couples through making a decision, whether to stay together and reconcile their relationship or dissolve and separate. In either case, discernment counseling is the beginning of the healing process. Often couples (and occasionally just one partner) will come to us in a place of turmoil, which is completely normal whenever we feel “stuck”. Once this very important decision is made, couples may proceed to couples therapy for healing or other forms of therapy to support in the process of separation.
Who is Discernment Counseling for
Couples where one partner is unsure about staying in the marriage.
Partners wrestling with separation vs. reconciliation but wanting clarity before acting.
Those needing a safe space and guidance to explore their feelings about the relationship.
Those needing a pragmatic approach to deciding if their relationship is still right for them.
Signs You May Benefit from Discernment Counseling
Not sure if discernment counseling is right for you? Here are some signs it might help:
You’re stuck in repeated cycles of conflict and disconnection.
You’re considering divorce but aren’t ready to make a final call.
You feel emotionally drained or unheard in your marriage.
One of you wants to leave, while the other wants to stay.
A Step-by-Step Guide to the Discernment Counseling Process
At It Begins Within, our discernment counseling process is clear, structured, and focused on helping you decide your path. Here’s what to expect:
Phase 1: Individual Reflection
Each partner meets separately with the therapist to share their concerns, hopes, and fears. This is your chance to be heard without judgment.
Phase 2: Gaining Clarity
Together and individually, you’ll work with the therapist to assess your relationship’s strengths, weaknesses, individual motives, level of investment in commitment to change, and behavior patterns. This phase is about understanding what’s possible.
Phase 3: Decision Making
After reflection and discussion, couples generally choose one of three paths:
Stay together as-is: Maintain the relationship without any immediate changes.
Move toward separation: Begin the process of separation or divorce with support and a clear plan.
Commit to rebuilding: Create and follow a plan to rebuild your marriage.
Session Structure
Typically lasting 3-5 sessions. It’s a focused journey toward decision-making. Our goal is to help you make an informed decision for you, your relationship and your family.
Why Choose IBW for Discernment Counseling?
When you’re facing relationship uncertainty, you deserve a team you can trust. Here’s why couples in Tampa Bay It Begins Within:
Expert Therapists: Led by Dr. Mary Perleoni, LMHC, our team specializes in couples counseling, trauma, attachment, and relationship transitions.
Non-Judgmental Approach: We don’t push you toward any outcome—just provide a safe space to process.
Convenient Access: Sessions available in Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, and virtually across Florida via telehealth.
Compassionate Guidance: Whether you choose reconciliation or separation, we help you move forward with confidence.
What Happens After Discernment Counseling?
After completing discernment counseling at, couples typically choose one of three paths
Maintaining the Status Quo. Some couples decide to continue their relationship as it is, opting not to make immediate changes. This choice allows for further reflection and consideration without committing to a specific course of action.
Pursuing Separation or Divorce. For couples who conclude that ending the marriage or relationship is the best option, discernment counseling provides a foundation for a more amicable separation. The process fosters clarity and understanding, which can lead to improved cooperation during the divorce and better co-parenting relationships post-divorce.
Committing to Reconciliation Through Couples Therapy. Couples who choose to work on their relationship may engage in structured couples therapy, typically committing to a dedicated period to address underlying issues and improve their partnership. During this time, discussions of divorce are set aside to focus fully on healing and growth within the marriage.
How Therapy Can Support Your Journey
Regardless of the path chosen post discernment counseling, ongoing support is available. Often the healing journey our clients take looks like:
Maintaining the status quo
Our Tampa & St. Petersburg clients who choose to give the relationship more time often pursue individual therapy, prioritizing improving themselves and how they process aspects of their relationship.
Pursuing Separation
When children are involved in the decision, couples often find significant benefit in family therapy for helping to ease the impact of the separation on the family, and define co-parenting approaches and strategies.
Committing to Reconciliation
Couples who decide they want to heal their relationship are strongly encouraged to transition to a more formal and structured form of couples therapy. If there is no change in behavior and actions, there will be no change in the outcome. Through therapy couples learn to improve communication, intimacy and appreciation for their spouse, leading to a more fulfilling and healthy relationship.
Addressing Common Questions and Concerns
Couples considering discernment counseling often have questions. We’ve got answers:
What if we decide to separate?
We offer individual therapy available to the whole family and practical guidance to navigate the next steps with care.
What if one of us wants to stay, but the other wants to leave?
Our therapists are skilled at handling these differing perspectives, ensuring both partners feel respected.
What if I’m afraid of hurting my partner?
You’ll learn strategies for compassionate communication to express your needs honestly.
Is discernment counseling the same as couples therapy?
No. Discernment counseling is a short-term, decision-focused process, not a long-term repair effort. For more insights, explore our Couples Counseling Overview or read about intimacy in relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How does discernment counseling help with divorce decisions?
It provides a structured space to explore your feelings and options, helping you decide between separation or reconciliation.
Can discernment counseling save my marriage?
It’s not about saving or ending your marriage, but about finding clarity. Some couples choose couples therapy afterward to rebuild or uncouple in a way that best supports the family.
How long does the discernment process take?
Typically 3-5 sessions, depending on your needs and goals.
Is virtual therapy available?
Yes! We offer discernment counseling online for couples throughout Florida, though we recommend in-person therapy if possible, to get the most out of the experience.
Schedule Free Consultation
If you are looking for discernment counseling in Tampa, the team at It Begins Within has helped hundreds of couples to find they clarity they are looking for. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward healing.