Services
Infidelity Therapists in Tampa & St. Petersburg
Whether you are a partner who just disclosed or discovered an affair, we hope this information helps you decide how to move forward. Our therapists are experienced and trained in addressing infidelity and the recovery process.
What is Considered Infidelity?
There are many labels that may be put on it: cheating, adultery, unfaithfulness, an affair.
There are also different terms for the "offender" and the "victim." As you read on and in some clinical literature, "the betrayed" is the person who was cheated on and "the unfaithful" is the person who cheated.
Dr. Talal Alsaleem defines it as "a conscious breach of a contract of exclusivity with the partners in the dyad. It's engaging in any need-fulfilling behavior with someone outside the dyad without the consent of the current partner(s)."
This definition leaves room to validate a variety of experiences with betrayal and loss of trust and can be custom-tailored to any relationship.
Types of Infidelity
The type of infidelity that takes place is dependent on the need that is driving the behavior. It can be emotional, sexual, or mixed. A few specific types are explored below:
Sexual Affair
Anything that meets an unmet need for sexual intimacy. A sexual affair does not have to involve direct sexual contact and can happen entirely online, in phone calls, or through texts.
Emotional Affair
Emotional affairs are more difficult to define, as emotional needs are more fluid. Someone feeling unwanted or undesired, lonely, or bored may begin with this type of infidelity.
Mixed Affair
A combination of an emotional and sexual affair. This type of affair typically looks like entirely separate relationship and usually ends up being seen as the ideal version of the relationship the unfaithful may want to have with their primary partner.
What Causes Infidelity?
The only thing that causes infidelity is the unfaithful partner making the choice to engage in an affair. It is important that anyone starting the healing process knows and accepts this.
Risk factors that can contribute to the likelihood of infidelity are addressed later in this article and are important to consider and understand, but the unfaithful partner always has a choice in participating in an affair.
Healing From Infidelity Trauma
Healing after infidelity takes time. For the betrayed partner, many feelings are likely swirling around. Partners often feel that their entire worldview has changed. The feelings and the experience can invade every corner of their life, even their health. For instance, stress is associated with elevated resting heart rate and blood pressure. An individual can find themselves struggling with questions like:
"Do I tell my friends? my family?"
"What will people think of me if I leave? Is it even worse if I stay?"
These are questions the betrayed spouse or partner asks themselves and their therapist. If you have discovered that infidelity occurred and can relate to the following experiences, you are not alone and treatment in the form of couples therapy or individual therapy is available for you at our Tampa and St. Petersburg outpatient office.
Dealing with infidelity can leave the betrayed spouses or partners experiencing:
Distressing or intrusive memories or images
Recurrent distressing dreams about the event
Flashbacks or feeling like you are returning to the moment of betrayal
Trying to avoid remembering what happened or avoid anything that might remind you that it happened
Negative impacts to self-esteem
Inability to rebuild trust
Blaming oneself
Feeling detached from your partner or other people
Inability or significant challenge with feeling positive emotions
Feelings of irritability, rage, depression, guilt, worthlessness, etc
Problems with sleep, appetite, and/or concentration
Understanding the complexities of recovery
The recovery process for the unfaithful partner involves taking ownership of their choices, learning about how the affair impacted their partner, and providing a genuine apology. It’s important to understand that success through therapy will involve digging deep to gain insight and address the underlying relationship problems in a structured environment that is intended to be a safe space for both partners.
The recovery process for the betrayed partner involves participation in the above mentioned and also focuses on the ability to forgive, coping with the PTSD-like symptoms, and starting the process of rebuilding trust.
Initial stages of healing may involve individual therapy sessions to help both partners process their feelings and focus more specifically on infidelity counseling and recovery during couples or marriage counseling sessions.
Our Tampa & St. Petersburg Infidelity Therapists
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![Kaitlyn Tampa Infidelity Therapist]()
Kaitlyn Shelp, MA, LMHC
CLINICAL SUPERVISOR, THERAPIST
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![Melissa Tampa & St. Petersburg Infidelity Counselor]()
Melissa Zentner, MS, LMHC
THERAPIST
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![Paris tampa therapist for infidelity]()
Paris McDonald, LMHC
THERAPIST
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![Dr. Caroline Tampa therapist]()
Dr. Caroline Perjessy, Ph.D., LMHC
THERAPIST
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![Nicole therapist in tampa for couples healing from affairs]()
Nicole Segovia, BS
THERAPIST
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![Kelly a Tampa therapist for affair recovery]()
Kelly Morrissey, MA, LMHC, LMFT
THERAPIST
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![Amanda St. Petersburg therapist for infidelity]()
Amanda Farris, MS, LCSW
THERAPIST
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![Tyler st. pete couples therapist for infidelity]()
Tyler MacDonald, MA, LMHC
THERAPIST
How Infidelity Can Affect the Partner Who Cheats
Most unfaithful partners feel a tremendous amount of shame and guilt about their choices. This can lead to symptoms of depression, anxiety, and in severe cases, suicidal thoughts or actions.
The one caught cheating often perceives that they have no room to explain the circumstances surrounding their choices and the dissatisfaction they were feeling. The unfaithful person usually presents to treatment feeling that they must accept the punishment the betrayed partner is dishing out-even if there is no end in sight. Part of therapy involves making space for the unfaithful to feel heard and seen, too. Please know that this does not mean the therapist justifies or excuses the choice to engage in an affair. However, it is important for the therapeutic process, and for the strength of the marriage or relationship, that both partners are able to speak to one another openly and freely.
Why Do Affairs Happen?
There are multiple theories on how and why infidelity occurs and this is not a complete list. Common risk factors include the following:
Cultural norming of the behavior
Incompatibility
Poor communication and conflict resolution skills
Trouble with emotional and/or sexual intimacy
Difference in level of investment and commitment in the relationship
Feeling under-benefited or less than in the relationship
Occupations that involve frequent travel, exposure to trauma, long hours, and unhealthy work environments
The presence of any of the above risk factors does not necessarily mean that an affair will happen and many couples are able to use communication skills and other coping mechanisms to work through these problems in healthy ways.
Benefits of Infidelity Counseling for Couples
Infidelity counseling is beneficial and still considered successful even if the relationship ends. The goal of couples counseling that addresses infidelity is to help the betrayed partner and the unfaithful partner understand why the affair happened and to empower both to make informed, healthy, well-rounded decisions for themselves regarding healing together or separately. No matter what, healing can only take place if decisions made about the status of the relationship are done when the initial shock has worn off and both understand why this happened. Without making efforts to heal, you can leave yourself vulnerable to repeating or falling into the same patterns again, whether in your current relationship or another.
How Do I Stop Overthinking After Infidelity?
Working with a therapist specializing in infidelity recovery or trauma is essential. Many of the experiences the betrayed partner have align with symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). A trauma therapist can use specific treatment approaches to help you heal. Effective strategies include Accelerated Resolutions Therapy (ART) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) which use the concept of bilateral stimulation to help the brain and body recovery more quickly.
How Long Does Infidelity Trauma Last?
The answer to this question is deeply personal. This is due to the various factors that each infidelity trauma and betrayal have involved. What kind of affair was it? Was it a one time thing or longer term? Have multiple affairs been disclosed or discovered in this relationship? How quickly did a couple or individual seek treatment? What was the level of relationship satisfaction and trust prior to the event?
Seeking professional intervention quickly and minimizing outside influence early can improve outcomes. Couples and individuals can expect to be actively working in therapy on healing after the betrayal for 6-24 months.
When is Therapy for Cheating Not Effective?
Infidelity couples counseling is not advised if the affair is still ongoing. The unfaithful partner must commit to closing the door to the affair partner permanently.
Finding Help to Heal
Whether you are the unfaithful or betrayed, the next step is to ask yourself if you are willing to go to therapy to address this issue. If you are, ask your partner if they are. Next, you should research the available and qualified mental health professionals in your area that specialize in infidelity counseling. At It Begins Within, we have multiple therapists trained and experienced in infidelity counseling, including Systematic Affair Recovery. We welcome an opportunity to be a part of your healing journey, and offer a free consultation with one of our providers.
Leaning on your support system of loved ones is a great idea, but divulging the details of the affair and the processing you are doing is not. Our loved ones are our favorite people because they have our backs no matter what. This can sometimes mean that their feelings and opinions can cloud our own. It is best to leave the details between you, your partner, and your therapist, at least while figuring out where you stand.
Know that regardless of the path you take to healing after discovery or disclosure of infidelity your efforts will be worth it. If you see the process through, you will emerge a healthier version of the person you were before.
Sessions Available for Infidelity Therapy
We offer comprehensive mental health services and are dedicated to the best outcome for our clients. Please reach out to us today to book a session with one of our skilled therapists.