Parents' Involvement in Child Therapy: A Comprehensive Guide
Author: Lauren Buroker, M.Ed/Ed.S, LMFT
Reviewer: Kaitlyn Shelp, MA, LMHC ✓
The decision to start therapy for your child is a deeply personal one, and we have a secret to tell you, there is no right way to go about it. This article is intended to give guidelines on the appropriate amount of parent involvement in child therapy, and how to decide on an approach to your child's mental health treatment.
What parents should understand about their child's therapy
Every therapist will have their own methods and approach to treat your child which may require more or less parent involvement, so be sure to speak directly with your child's therapist about any specific questions that you might have.
This guide is applicable to many therapy methods and modalities, including: family therapy, play therapy, parent child interaction therapy (PCIT), art therapy, talk therapy, and therapy covering specific topics like behavioral issues, anxiety, depression, relationships, family concerns, trauma, self confidence, eating disorders, or school issues.
Parent involvement will also differ based on specifics about your child. Younger children will likely require more parent involvement, and more of the work may be focused on parenting styles, psycho-education, and how parents can influence child behaviors. It's also possible that family mental health treatment may be most effective depending on the age of your child. Adolescents, on the other hand, may prefer to have sessions completely to themselves as teens are looking to build a sense of identity outside of the family.
There can be many reasons that parents may seek a therapy appointment for their child, including but not limited to: eating concerns, behavior problems, strong emotions, mental health support, life transitions, or identity concerns. Some signs to look out for that may indicate your child could benefit from counseling are: changes in sleep, appetite changes (increase or decrease), significant changes in mood, school refusal, specific behavior concerns like yelling/hitting/kicking, self-harm, or just to help your child learn more about the world and how to regulate themselves.
Whatever therapist you and your child work with will engage with both you and your child directly to set up treatment goals addressing specific behaviors and topics to focus on. Parent engagement is likely to be very important at this stage of a child's treatment.
Why parent involvement in a child's therapy is important
A popular answer in therapy is "it depends". However, when parents are involved in their child's therapy services, it can play an important role in the progress that child makes for a multiple reasons. Kids learn from adults modeling behaviors to them. Seeing a parent participate in counseling can encourage kids to be more open to being involved. Younger kids may also feel more comfortable with their therapist if they witness their parents engage with them both in and out of sessions. The relationship between a therapist and their client is one of the most important indicators of successful treatment. When it comes to children, parents can have a direct impact on that relationship.
Child therapists are aware of the fact that there are a variety of factors that influence the success of a child's therapy, including consistency in how issues are addressed outside of sessions. Since the child's therapist cannot be there to guide the child when not in a session, this tends to be one of the most crucial areas where parents will be involved in their child's therapy.
While many of us think of therapy as something that only happens during the course of an appointment, the truth is much of the work happens between sessions. One way to think of this process is that clients spend significantly more time outside of treatment each week than they do in a therapy session - therefore outside intervention is vital!
In order to support the therapist to provide the best services possible, it is important to engage in a way that encourages the specific behavior changes or thought processes that are being worked on in session. Each therapist will have a different way of addressing this part of the process; some therapists choose to give homework, others give guidelines for parents or kids to follow between appointments, and others ask for guidance from the client on what they believe will work best for them.
No matter what, in order for your family and child to consider therapy successful, it will likely involve quite a bit of change at home as well.
Parent's involvement guidelines from a therapist's perspective
From my personal experience when working with children in therapy, it is extremely important for parents to be involved so that everyone is on the same page. The way that I explain this part of the process to families is: the therapist has the mental health knowledge (diagnoses, evidence based treatments, etc), while the child or family has the personal knowledge. It is only when those two aspects are combined that we can truly see the sort of change that is often sought when seeking therapy.
5 Keys to parent participation in child therapy
Be willing to make life changes - while the therapy may be intended for a specific family member, in order for true change to occur, multiple people will likely have to adjust
Recognize that the brains of kids, teens, and adults are all at different stages - understanding this fact can help both parents and kids to understand that empathy is a crucial ingredient
Understand that the support each child needs might be different - just as every child is unique, the type of therapy that works best for them is likely to be as well
Be willing to acknowledge that behavioral issues often stem from unmet needs - while behavioral problems can be frustrating, there is generally a root cause
Working with your child's therapist is almost always encouraged and appreciated - unless your child's therapist tells you otherwise, they likely value the additional perspective you can give on your lives outside of the therapy office; the more information therapists have, the better equipped they are to help!
Child therapy versus family therapy - which might be right for you?
While mental health conditions can be very personal and are often considered to be an individual issue, family therapy can still be a valuable process that helps all members of the family support each other. Especially when children are at a new life stage (entering school, switching schools, going from kids to teens), it can at times be difficult to know how to effectively talk and interact with each other. Things that worked perfectly fine one week may seem to cause meltdowns or arguments the next. These life transitions can be an especially helpful time to engage in family therapy rather than child therapy. While either is likely to be helpful, engaging in family therapy can look more at the patterns of what is going on to give the entire group the tools to work through similar transitions more effectively in the future.
When it comes to specific behavior problems, mental health issues, or trauma, therapy specifically for just the child may be more appropriate, at least initially. Depending on the age of your child, play therapy can be especially helpful because it allows children to engage with even the most difficult of topics on their level: play. Due to the differences in development from young brains to teen and adult brains, play therapy can benefit a child by helping them process through things they do not currently have the words for; in turn this type of support can help parents by reducing undesired behaviors.
Some therapists choose to use something as structured as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with children as young as 7, which can also be incorporated into family therapy either from the start or at various points during treatment to ensure that the child and parents are on the same page. Cognitive behavioral therapy also includes plenty of psycho-education - essentially the therapist providing additional knowledge and tools for parents to utilize themselves and to encourage children and teens to use to improve their moods and functioning.
What parents need to remember
No matter what services you choose to seek out for your child's therapy, know that the focus will be on helping you learn as a family to improve their mental health. Getting the parents involved is a process that each therapist will manage differently, and depending on the mental health or behavioral concerns that are identified, the specific therapist you work with will be able to guide you more on what to expect and how to most effectively help your child through the therapeutic process.
Making the choice to get involved in therapy is a deeply personal one, but one that is likely to impact areas of your family life that you were not even aware had been impacted. Finding the best fit for client and therapist in the Tampa and St. Petersburg areas is what we strive to do at It Begins Within Healing Center. No matter where you're at in the process, we hope this guide gives you hope and motivation to move forward and be successful in your journey!
