A Comprehensive Guide to What You Can Expect From Couples Therapy
Author: Dr. Mary Perleoni, Ph.D., LMHC
Updated September 3, 2025
Overview: What to Expect in Couples Therapy (or Marriage Counseling)
Each therapist may utilize a slightly varied approach (including pulling from different schools of thought or modalities), but generally you will experience:
Optional individual sessions - Individual sessions with each partner before joint work can allow both perspective to be clear, and time together can be more focused.
A focus on surface struggles - A space to surface challenges you both may be facing today — such as living in a sexless marriage, escalating arguments, or betrayal.
Exploration of deeper issues - Uncovering the root patterns that ultimately are driving conflict, resentment or disconnection.
Clear, shared goals - Goals may range from discernment (deciding if we should remain together), emotional reconnection, or overcoming past betrayals.
Practical tools and tactics - Strategies and approaches that can be used immediately for healthier dialogue, conflict resolution, and improved intimacy.
Take-home exercises - A realistic plan for you to apply these new skills between sessions.
When’s The Right Time for Couples Therapy in Tampa?
Many couples I work with are coming to therapy for the first time. Often I am asked, “What should I expect from couples counseling?” While there are many effective approaches to therapy (including the Gottman method and Emotion Focused Therapy) I hope to give you a complete understanding of what to expect at our Tampa therapy and relationship counseling practice, as well my share my experiences as a relationship and marriage counselor.
As a couples counselor and mental health professional, the main objective of the initial session is to create a safe space to discuss issues in your relationship with a third-party present to moderate the discussion. My personal goal as a therapist is to teach couples how to best communicate in their everyday lives by first practicing techniques in session and bringing them home to implement. There are many reasons couples want to engage in therapy, whether it be a proactive approach such as learning a new skill, or pre marital counseling. Or a reactive approach such as healing from a trauma within the relationship (e.g., infidelity). No matter what the motivating factor in seeking help, couples therapy has been proven to be beneficial to a variety of issues partners present.
In my first session in marriage or couples counseling, I ask for couples to design rules that they must abide by so that argument patterns that have happened in the past do not repeat themselves in the therapy room.
For example, one partner may ask that a rule includes that one partner can speak at a time. This way, both parties are heard and validated in session. I personally design a couples counseling session to uniquely to fit the two individuals present in the relationship, and in turn create a treatment plan that meets each partners needs.
Whether a couple is working on their individual communication issues, how to communicate with each other, overcoming infidelity, improving intimacy or sex life, or wanting to become closer as a unit and strengthen emotional bond- counseling sessions are designed to help you reach the collaborative goals set in the relationship.
In order for Couples counseling to work, both partners must be willing to discuss their authentic feelings on both present and past experiences, be open to feedback on unhealthy behaviors, and must both be motivated to do the work. By the work, I’m referring to the emotional and behavioral changes that are required (by both partners) in order to see positive change. This work, is why couples counseling can take as long as is required for both of the individuals to change both in session, and more importantly at home.
I recommend that couples discuss if they are ready for couples counseling and are on the same page about wanting to attend prior to coming. If one person is not committed to the process of counseling, then it is difficult to make healthy changes within the relationship.
If you are struggling with how to approach your partner, this is a great article with ideas that work – 5 Steps to Inspire Your Partner to Join You in Therapy
If you are in Tampa, St. Petersburg or Sarasota - we invite you to schedule a free consultation to explore if couples therapy may be right for you and your relationship.
Why Most Couples Seek Counseling
Couples seek help when one or both partners are not happy in the relationship. Couples or marriage counseling is different than individual therapy because the client is the relationship not the individual.
Success in therapy is largely affected by both partners agreeing to attending therapy, are willing to be honest with each other, and are willing to make effort in healing.
At It Begins Within, a couples or marriage counselor would offer a free 15-minute initial phone consultation with a couple to discuss expectations of counseling, inform the couple about their training, and overall to see if there is a mutual fit based on personality traits for the healing process prior to treatment. In some cases, family therapy may be necessary to support children and other family members that may be involved. At It Begins Within Healing Center, we are fortunate to have a fantastic team available to us here to help support everyone from individuals to the entire family in their healing journey with therapists trained evidence-based treatment, such as the Gottman method.
Step-by-Step: What Actually Happens
Share your relationship story and concerns
Set 1–3 realistic therapy goals together
Review ground rules (one person speaks at a time, no interruptions)
Practice a guided communication exercise with therapist support
Receive feedback and skill coaching
Leave with take-home “homework” to practice between sessions
How To Find the Right Couples Therapist in Tampa
Throughout my research at one of the nations leading Counselor education PhD programs, as well as throughout 1000's of sessions and conversations with my peers, its been my experience that despite degrees, labels, and dozens of other factors - the most impact from therapy comes from the relationship the individuals and couple jointly has with their clinician. Therefore, at It Begins Within, the therapeutic relationship between couples therapists and clients where trust is formed is our top priority.
Preparing For Your First Session
Getting ready for your first couples therapy session can certainly spur many emotions, and that is completely normal, and here are some simple but powerful messages to get you started.
First, come prepared to be in a safe space, minimizing judgement and seeking understanding of your partner.
We'll be working together to understand the presenting issue, how communication works in your relationship, how you engage in conflict resolution, and what pain each partner may be experiencing.
Next, we'll plan together to see what goals the couple wants to achieve. Some therapists may ask each partner to attend individual sessions in addition to couples therapy to address individual issues that may be contributing to relationship problems.
During our time together, we may perform activities that help everyone express their emotions, and as we go along in fulfilling relationship, we'll notice the good things about the relationship and build on those strengths.
So, getting ready for this session is about being a supportive listener, understanding each person's perspective, and making a plan to improve things.
What Happens in the Initial Sessions of Couples Therapy?
The initial sessions of couples therapy is like opening a door to better understanding and connection. It's a safe space where everyone gets to share their thoughts and feelings. Here's what usually happens:
Introduction and Setting the Tone: I'll start by welcoming everyone and making sure they feel comfortable.
Getting to Know Each Other: We'll spend some time talking about the couples background, and each persons experiences, and what brings the couple to therapy. It's like building a roadmap to understand where you've been and where they want to go as a couple.
Exploring Concerns and Goals: I'll ask about any issues or concerns they have. We'll talk about what you hope to achieve through therapy, especially in the first few sessions. This helps me understand their unique needs and sets the stage for our work together.
Assessment: We might use some questionnaires or assessments to gather more information about the relationship. It's like taking snapshots to see what's going well and what areas we can improve.
Establishing Ground Rules: We'll discuss how we'll work together, ensuring that everyone feels respected and heard. This helps create a safe environment for open communication. Our goal is not repeat negative communication in the therapy office and through that we will establish ground rules (e.g., letting one person speak at a time).
Introduction to Therapy Process: Once goals are established, I will explain what they can expect in future sessions, giving them a sense of the therapeutic journey we'll embark on together.
Setting Homework or Goals: Depending on the dynamics and needs, I might suggest some small tasks or goals for them to work on between sessions. It's like taking small steps towards positive changes.
Remember, the first session is about building trust and laying the foundation for a collaborative therapeutic relationship. It's an opportunity for couples to express themselves, understand each other better, and start the process of positive change.
What Do Couples Do in Couples Therapy?
In couples therapy and marriage counseling, partners focus on five key actions to strengthen their relationship:
Open Talk Time: One of the most frequent challenges couples arrive with stems from communication problems. During therapy, couples will engage in open conversations, expressing their thoughts and feelings. Our goal or objective here is to allow each partner to be heard, seeking understanding.
Problem-Solving Practice: Together with the experienced couples therapist, couples identify relationship issues and work on practical solutions. Learning problem-solving skills equips them to tackle challenges constructively in hopes of a different outcome than what is currently present.
Listening and Understanding: Partners learn to actively listen to each other, gaining a better understanding of different perspectives. This builds empathy and improves communication skills.
Goal Setting Together: Couples collaboratively set goals for their relationship, like better communication or more quality time. Having shared goals keeps them focused on positive changes.
Homework Assignments: Therapists may assign simple exercises for couples to do at home to implement new skills.
These actions, done consistently, contribute to a healthier and more connected relationship.
How Long Does Couples Therapy Take?
Many couples start with 6–12 weekly sessions. Progress depends on your goals, the severity of challenges, and consistency with practice. Some couples continue monthly for ongoing support.
Will We Have Individual Sessions?
Sometimes. If individual issues are impacting the relationship, your therapist may recommend short one-on-one check-ins. Boundaries are clear: the focus always returns to the relationship.
What is the Success Rate of Couples Counseling & Marriage Therapy?
Determining the success rate of couples therapy and marriage counseling can be challenging as it varies depending on multiple factors, such as the severity of the issues, the commitment of the treatment plan, the individuals, and the therapeutic approach. However, research suggests that couples therapy can be effective for many couples.
Studies have shown that, on average, about 70-75% of couples report some level of improvement in their relationship after therapy. Many couples experience better communication, reduced conflict, and improved overall satisfaction. However, it's important to note that success doesn't always mean complete resolution of all issues; it may involve learning to manage and navigate challenges more effectively.
The success of couples therapy is often linked to factors like the couple's motivation, their willingness to actively participate, and the skill of the couples therapist. Couples who are committed to the process and engage wholeheartedly tend to see more positive outcomes.
It's also worth mentioning that success in couples therapy doesn't always mean staying together. Sometimes, therapy helps couples recognize that separating is the healthiest choice for both individuals.
FAQs
Is marriage counseling worth it?
Yes, for many couples it improves communication, reduces conflict, and strengthens connection. Outcomes depend on engagement, therapist fit, and follow-through.
How do I convince my spouse to go?
Share your hope for the relationship, frame it as a team effort, and suggest starting with one session to “test the waters.”
Does couples therapy really work?
Research shows most couples report higher satisfaction and better conflict skills. Results vary, but many find the investment worthwhile.
What happens in the first session?
You’ll share your history, set goals, agree on ground rules, and try a guided exercise.
What are the ground rules?
One person speaks at a time
Reflect before responding
Use “I” statements
Pause if escalated
Agree on realistic next steps
What if we’re considering separation?
That’s normal. You may benefit from discernment counseling, a short-term approach to clarify if repair or separation is best.
